Looking through my art journal today, I came across a two page spread that I did for Life Book 2017 with France Papillon called The Story Within. I remember the spread, the healing that occurred with that arting and the understanding and resolution I reached at the end of creating it. At the time, I was struggling with some information that I had discovered a year or two earlier about my father, about my family and about a belief that I had held for over 50 years, a false belief that my family purposefully fostered.
The discovery was that my dad is not my biological father.
As you can imagine, there are many levels to this kind of a revelation, some I'm still dealing with. But what I worked through in this two-part spread was the idea that a tight compact family circle had holes and spaces and wasn't as I had imagined. Instead there were loose ends, threads dangling. And this was ultimately okay. After the whole process which took many layers of writing, painting and expressing myself, I created the second page with the loose threads representing parts of my story to which I had no answers. I wrote:
Knowing more of the truth leaves loose ends but adds texture to my story.
Sometimes those loose ends can tickle, irritate and distract me. I want to have everything wrapped up tidily and tie those loose ends into a pretty bow. Realistically I know that won't happen. And that is okay. Even on the days when it may not feel so okay. I prefer to know the truth with its untidiness, to let the threads add texture and layers to my story, to my life.
In which areas of your life do you have loose ends? Can you embrace them and see how they add layers and texture to your life? It may take time and effort and arting and writing. In the meantime, may your heart and mind be filled with peace today.
Welcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world.