This is another late night quick-before-midnight last day of the month post. Again, a few pictures, hopefully self-explanatory, from my #100dayproject, #100daysofsybnoticing. I pushed myself today to get done a few things with deadlines, things that I'd left to the last minute to get that extra push from the burst of adrenaline. I had hoped to get more done in my last 5 in a row midnight shifts. But I underestimated how little energy I have (and mental capacity) during a 'marathon' set of midnights. And how little patience and compassion I had last night both for myself, when I caught myself being snarly and bullying, and for my clients and for anyone in the world really.
This morning, after a couple of hours sleep, I reflected on that and realised that I wanted to art. i wanted time to just catch a few minutes and I was angry with myself that I had pushed everything to this one day of deadlines. But, if this posts before midnight, I have met all the deadlines set. Tomorrow is free for me to paint lots. Today, between getting stuff done, I walked through the yard and straightened flowers and studied the intricacies of the petals on my African violets inside and I petted my cats, hugged Rob and laughed with my LUNA writing group online. And my world shifted itself. And i added nag champa oil, a scent I love, to the top of my self love/ care jar which I made about a month ago. I reminded myself that unless I love myself and have compassion for myself, I am empty and have nothing except snarls and thorns to give to others.
This is a picture of the jar. It's filled with coloured sugar for sweetness and all things which make me happy and that make me feel protected and loved: flavoured teas, soap curls, spearmint candies, pretty feathers...I can't even remember what else but I raced around the house finding things that filled me with love that I could include. It is a wonderful visual reminder to be gentle with myself. Julia Cameron wrote: "Treating yourself like a precious object will make you strong."
Is that what you need to hear today? How can you shower yourself with some loving today? What are your go-tos to welcome self-compassion? I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you'll see your own light. And see how much you mean to the world, how much you bring and how much you're loved. Much love!
Welcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world.