Up in the still-dark morning. Are those song lyrics? I thought they were poetically mine but they arrived with a tune so maybe not. I woke up in a panic. Worry sits heavy on my chest. But right now it’s pre-dawn dark and I have my words and thoughts as swords or feathers. In bed, trying to stop catastrophic thoughts, lists of things that need my immediate attention, I ground myself by naming 5 things I can feel: 1. cool of the headboard with my arm and hand flung against it 2. Spook’s whiskers tickling my arm as she settles in beside me Oh! A thought. Undergrowth reddens. I count out the syllables on my fingers. Five. Yes. I like that. It’ll do for the first line of my haiku. I had picked the picture already, one I’d taken a few days ago. I recite it to myself so I don’t forget it, my phone too bright for this early so putting it in there isn’t an option at the moment. 3. warmth of the cotton sheets 4. brushed cotton nightie soft against my hand What about a second line? I want something autumnal. Hhmmm… 5. chilly breeze from the slightly open window That’s it. Something about the chill in the air. I get up to write my haiku and post it on instagram with a somewhat related photo. I feel like I had gotten lackadaisical with my daily haiku and want to bring in more specific details and make a more pointed connection. Of course not every day will be brilliant. At the very least they form stepping stones through my days. At their best, I hope they are touching in some way, lingering and thought-provoking. Some days it’s all I can do to string a bunch of words together and shove them, protesting, into three lines if not syllables. But despite the early start, despite the worry and feeling of overwhelm and not being able to cope that squats in the dark, I finish my haiku, write it in my Moonlology diary, take a photo of it and post it online. I really like this one. I went to a friend’s retirement party yesterday and while it doesn’t sum up the mood of her party, it works with the mood of the haiku. I almost wish I hadn’t posted this one as it counts as publishing and I might have wanted to keep it to enter into a contest. But there it is. Out there now. I read my tarot for the day. Not so bad. Two of cups is lovely. Nine of swords—oh yes! Was just in the middle of that! I read a blog or two and comment, loving the connection. Next I read my email. Then I feel ready to face the day. (This is also my routine after midnights before I go to bed during the day) The day after the freezer quit on us and we had to find a repair service, Rob came upstairs while I was writing my haiku. He waved the phone at me. “So you’re just going to go through all your regular routines, aren’t you?” he said, obviously annoyed because I wasn’t immediately on the phone trying to find someone. I nodded. Yep. Tried not to feel guilty. “These are my tent pegs,” I said as he went back downstairs. He didn’t hear and I’m not sure he would have understood. At least not in that moment. I know my inaction, as he saw it, exasperated him. But these routines first thing, especially the haiku, help hold down what are sometimes the errant flaps of my day. Today, especially, I needed them. I feel stronger, more in control with them behind me. Grounded I suppose. Even if I do nothing else today, I wrote a haiku. (and now a blog as well! Lol!) Day 256 Undergrowth reddens chill sweeps in on morning air retirement party Day 13 of Effy’s blogalong
4 Comments
9/14/2021 05:31:34 am
I understand what you mean about the routines grounding you. My usual routine was disturbed this morning, and I was quite out of sorts. But once I had the place to myself I went back and started it over.
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Susan Renshaw
9/14/2021 07:00:57 am
I love to read your thoughts!
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9/14/2021 09:29:12 am
Lovely.. I do love a haiku. And a good reminder of the naming things when overwhelmed..thanks
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AuthorWelcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world. Categories |