Day 6 Wonder Feel Good Wild Musings with Renee Magnusson
‘Believe’ is painted on a rock by my front door—a reminder, a lift me up, a why not in the face of a gravel-crushed day. Today I noticed the magic of sparkling snow crystals being tossed upwards and I felt like I was in a snow globe. And I heard a snippet on the radio about the cat's meow music piece. I can’t remember who the composer was but he loved cats and his cat often walked across his piano so one day he composed a piece of music (I think called ‘The Cat’s Meow’) based on the notes his cat walked on. This sort of thing delights me and fills me with wonder and I never doubt that I didn’t hear it for a reason which may or may not become obvious. I nurture the belief of time as elastic and pliable and woke up this morning with the cobwebs from a dream that made me think that somewhere in a different time, my teen self was setting out alone on a Sunday afternoon walk through a peaceful tree-lined cemetery to dream. And that this was that day that I encountered another teen, someone I’d never met, walking his dog and we walked together and we kissed on top of a stone overpass. Even though nothing came of it cos I was scared of what my parents would do or say about such a random meeting, the day was fun and magical anyway no matter how it ended. In a strange way it can be a comfort to think that my younger self could be experiencing that right now. Recently a close friend of mine had been feeling tremendous guilt over decisions with her mom, thinking she had wrongly influenced her. I knew her mom and reminded her how her mom told me she was ok after she'd died (sometimes spirits send something or some sign to me to say they're ok after death). After my friend’s mom died, she sent a small hawk that banged into my front window so for sure I'd notice it and at the same time I 'knew' it was her. The hawk had carrion of some sort and ate it perched in a tree. I watched, entranced. Then when it left it banged into the window again and flew away. I was stunned. My friend and I weren't in such constant touch at the time but I messaged her cos I thought it might comfort her to know that so I told her and she said yes that sounded like her mom. So a couple of weeks ago when my friend was hurting so much, wracked with guilt, I reminded her of her mom's ferocity. Most people send little pranks or dragonflies or blue jays or deer to say they’re doing ok but her mom sent a hawk with carrion that banged on the window twice so I'd notice. How could she think she could ever sway such a force? My friend laughed through her tears as she recognised the truth in never being able to influence such a strong personality. She sought further help to cope with her grief and burden. But all week long we both carried that image with us as if it was still happening in the next room, as if it hadn’t happened several years ago but had just happened now to break through her grief and guilt. What if that was true? Who knows for sure? Enough simply to believe. eating together simple meal—soup and sushi talk, small as the bowls #51
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWelcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world. Categories |