Yesterday the temp went up to 26 degrees. Another gorgeous day. Sunny, too. Rob set up his office outside on the back deck, something he's never done before, something he wanted to do on Sunday but didn't manage. Yesterday I remembered a table we'd recovered from an SUV accident and we set that up with a sun umbrella for shade and Rob marked his students' online work. I heard him chatting with the neighbour. I heard his tremendous sneezes. I saw a cluster of runs in the back of his grey shirt. He cared about none of that, just sat typing and reading. At one point, I huddled next to him on the back steps and critiqued a story with a warm wind circling my ankles. He became my shield (as he is in so many areas of my life) from neighbours on one side, the BBQ my shield on the other.
So many trees cut down and 'trimmed'. These trees were my protectors, ensuring me privacy. Last year I had anxiety attacks about going out into my back yard and being so 'seen', so open and vulnerable. Few others understand this. This year we have to tear the garage down and it will take away even more privacy. I have to learn, like Rob, to just do what I want to do, care nothing about what others may think or about how they may perceive me. I have the umbrella to shade me, the table to ground me and my words and dreams and creativity to ignite my soul. Other than good weather, what else is needed? This will be the year I own my own space, especially outside in the bigger world.
2 Comments
maggie pattison
5/16/2018 05:01:54 pm
i so know what you mean about trees, when my trees lose their leaves I feel so exposed to prying eyes. Very happy right now that everything is blooming around the garden, making a little cocoon for me.
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Fran
5/16/2018 06:45:57 pm
Love your last paragraph! 😉
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AuthorWelcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world. Categories |