"So you have no blood relatives living in Thunder Bay right now?" my friend Jo-Anne asked over lunch last week. In context, not meant maliciously. More statement than question. But true. Yet not true if worded slightly differently. My son Dane is my only true blood relative on this continent (at least that I'm aware of) and he now lives in Arizona. Jo-Anne herself is adopted and her sons and growing 'blood' family are obviously very important to her. Yet her and I have also called ourselves sisters. And this to me is family. Ask me, "So you have no family living in Thunder Bay right now?" and I will reply, "Absolutely not true!" I am surrounded by family and am embraced by some of the most loving and accepting people you could ever hope to meet. I explained to Jo-Anne that if I had an earth lesson this time around, it was that family can be any being that lives in your heart for however long. Although I learned that a long long time ago when, as an only child, my pets became my siblings. And to this day it is my belief that we are all of us family, however distant, linked through this experience of being alive at the same time. Perhaps because this past weekend was Thanksgiving and six years to the day that Mam died, perhaps because that seemed especially pronounced this year when the days and dates matched up to exactly the same as the year she died, perhaps because of those two things, Jo-Anne's question lingered. I shared the exchange with Rob as we drove up to Shebandowan to have Thanksgiving dinner with Dad and Sandy and Sandy's family on Monday. On Saturday, we had spent a lovely time at his ex's Judy's with the 'kids' and grandkids. I am extremely fortunate, ever-thankful, to be so readily included in both sets of families. And I have never felt anything but welcome in both. On Sunday I chatted on the phone with my dear friend, Linda, from BC for 2 hours 58 minutes. It felt more like a visit and we ended with "Love you"s. We're both only children and considered ourselves as chosen family many many years ago. I consider my sisters-in-law from my marriage to Dane's dad to be sisters, too. We keep in close touch. In trying to explain our link to others, Lea jokingly says "My brother got divorced and we kept Sue." Back to Monday when Rob and I arrived at Dad and Sandy's to big smiles and hugs. I had made a prism for Sandy's daughter-in-law Nathalie and her family as they had recently lost their sweet chocolate lab, Fudge. As I tell everyone whom I make the prisms for, I gave Nathalie the prism in a pretty sealed envelope with a copy of Rainbow Bridge inside and advised her, "Open it when you feel strong." Back at home that evening after a heartwarming get together and delicious dinner, Nathalie sent me the following message through f/b messenger, all the sweeter cos of her last words: Yesterday I got an email from my step-daughter Carole that she had sent as a group email to myself, Rob and Judy simply titled 'parents'. My heart swelled again.
Much as I miss Dane, ask me if I have any blood relatives in Thunder Bay and my answer today would be "No but I'm surrounded by family." May you feel love surround you today. And if you regularly read my blog, know I consider you chosen family.
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AuthorWelcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world. Categories |