Survivor Time

My son Dane and I are both addicted to the TV reality show, Survivor. It's one of my guilty pleasures which surprises people. What a term 'guilty pleasure.' I feel no guilt watching Survivor. I enjoy it fully.

Dane's dad and I split up when Dane was almost 7. We had shared custody so sometimes Dane would come back from his dad's with different habits or wanting to watch different TV shows. That was the case with Survivor. I asked him what he was watching and he explained about this show where people had to vote each other off an island and how it was really good because it involved lots of scheming and back-stabbing. Horrified, I decided to sit and watch the show with him so I could point out how awful the concept was and how everyone should be trying to get along instead. Since then, I haven't missed a single episode although Dane has missed entire seasons!

Since being back in his hometown last summer, Dane has watched Survivor with me weekly. My way of securing time together on a regular basis before he moves away again. Our schedules make it a challenge sometimes but we usually manage something although it's not usually when Survivor is aired live.

Today was supposed to be Survivor time for us before Dane goes to work out of town for the week. My plans changed the night before and opened up an extra time slot for us so I texted Dane and we agreed that he'd pop over in the late morning. So I arranged my day around our new plans. Half an hour after he was supposed to be here, I texted him to see if he was on his way. He'd forgotten about the changed time. And could we make it later? Ggggrrrrr!  One of my pet peeves is people not following through on plans that affect me. He also said he was sorry. But I was pissed off. And sent back a snippy reply. He snipped back. He really wanted to go to yoga later. So go do that then, I texted back, overlooking his suggestions that I could watch Survivor on my own or we could watch two shows at once when he got back.

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MOM in lego that Dane made when he was about 10 years old.

Before he was supposed to come over, I had been working through a pdf from Effy Wild's Moonshine which focused on the ripple affects of our thoughts and actions towards others. And on maintaining boundaries but also being more kindly towards each other.  Feeling hypocritical, I took a step back and examined my emotions more deeply. Of course, underlying that was the feeling that I came very low in Dane's priority of things to do and people to see and spend time with. Somehow I felt better realising that, seeing that clarity. Dane and I met up later to help my dad look around an open house and I apologized for being snippy and explained that it was because I felt this low (pointing to  my knees) on his priority list. He shook his head saying that he didn't know what was wrong with him this weekend, he had messed up the times on getting together with others too. 

Turns out, he is stressing about his travel plans for work tomorrow due to an ice storm in Toronto and a crazy snowstorm here with winds of 50 km/hr. Plus other stressful situations that he'll have to deal with on the road.  At this point maternal instincts kick in and all petty squabbles mean nothing. Survivor can wait for another week. We'll both be careful to avoid finding out who got voted off in the following week. And we'll look forward to a double blast of Survivor and extra time together next weekend.

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The back of MOM