Stay Wild, Moon Child

Day Nine Wild of Wild Musings with Renee Magnusson Peaceful Easy Feelings

‘To live wild is to stop breaking your own heart.’ ~Renee Magnusson

I will cherish those words, use them a barometer for my life. How many times do we break our own hearts? For me, it’s not an audible snap but a muffled suffocation, a stuffing down of feelings, a denial of yearnings. 

I am wild when my feet touch the ground and I walk through this world, preferably the natural world but it can be the streets of this town, too, with the elements—wind, rain, snow, sleet, sun—tangling in my hair, soaking into my skin or clothes, resting on my lips. Even a walk around the block is enough to feel part of this natural world but I deny myself that even…a ten minute walk…so very often. Afraid of being seen? Afraid of neighbours stopping me to discuss the trees? (my neighbours don’t like my trees—my yard is quite wild) And yet I arrive home feeling so much more alive, in touch with the wildest part of me, than if I had never gone. Ten minutes. Just do it, right? Even in the dark. Home from work early in the morning as day breaks. Before I get inside and cosy down. It is so doable and the payoff is huge.

My long hair is wild. The visibly wildest part of me. Wind-tangled hair invigorates me. The shortest I’ll ever cut it is shoulder length. It was short once when I was maybe 5 or 6. I missed it so much that I constantly wore a knitted hat with its under the chin ties loose so they brushed against my shoulders like braids. I had plans to write about my wild hair and my love of wind-tangled hair when an email from Louise made me smile. We chatted yesterday after tai chi the way we usually do, trying to take shelter against an icy wind by the WalMart wall. Louise emailed me later that day and shared the following: I was intrigued by your flying hair as we chatted today against the brick wall.  It was like your hair had so much energy...so much to say. I need to listen to my hair which doesn’t mind the elements and responds instinctively to them.

Some of my clothes are wild. Two of my most favourite items are long, almost to my knees, and I feel powerful when they flap around me, flow out behind me when I stride-walk. One is a maroon wrap around cardigan that I bought myself. The other is a soft black button down coat with long side slits. I call it my riding coat because it seems like it would be a terrific riding coat. It is spring and fall weight and was given to me by Jo-Anne who found it somewhere (a yard sale or Value Village?) and thought I would like it and that it might fit me. I believe it was custom made for me, I love it so. If I was a super hero I would demand a long flowing cape.

I feel wild and true to myself when I do Tarot or witchy things and acknowledge and live by my intuition. I’m at my most in tune with myself at those times. 

I feel wild in a way with my choice to work midnights, to go against the grain a little. It is formed by my desire to work 3 10 hour shifts a week rather than many 4 or 5 hour shifts during the day. But still, it feels a little wild, bohemian perhaps, to be on a different schedule than most people, to leave and return home in silver light rather than in the golden light of day. Mysterious.


Day 323 of 365 days of haiku
Chinese cleaver
infused with his energy
best gift ever