Day Seven Ease Wild Musings with Renee Magnusson Peaceful Easy Feelings
I love how these prompts all seem to overlap and tumble into one another. Like the other day, I certainly had ease changing my sheets because they’re all in one place close to the bed and I can easily sort through and choose which ones I want (provided I’m up on my laundry). I don’t always like everything matching so the more choices I have with something, the happier I am. Sometimes this can be stressful rather than full of ease but for the most part, I feel rich and awash in abundance when I have choices.
I set up my morning clothes the night before. I can change everything if I decide the next morning but I rarely do. My mornings tend to be slow and relaxed, even when my ‘mornings’ are really late afternoons after sleeping all day in the middle of my midnight work stretches. My before-sleep habits of drinking a cup of tea in bed and writing my gratitude pages then sometimes reading ease me into sleep. That familiar comfort.
I’m most in the zone when I’m being creative (painting or writing), occupying my mind by doing word puzzles or just driving with my tunes blasting or practising tai chi or walking or dancing. I rarely let myself dance now but I used to dance all the time when I was younger, up into my early 20s. I used to have to have this physical outlet—it was meditative almost—choosing the right 45 or LP (lol!), turning the lights out and just moving by myself, preferably with no one else around. I rehashed and rehearsed scenes in my mind, shook out feelings and dreamed so I wasn’t always exactly right in the moment but I always felt better after dancing. Why did I stop? Family? Space? I remember my son being in the hospital when he was 8 months old (viral pneumonia) and carrying him to the nurse’s station and catching ‘Kokomo’ by the Beach Boys on the radio and dancing with him in the hallway and him smiling, obviously starting to feel better.
Music is my go to shoehorn for any mood I want to be in and creating Spotify playlists like the old cassette tapes is one of my absolute favourite rabbit holes to fall down.
Not all my relationships have the ease that I’d like although most of them do. When meeting with one of my good friends, I bring imaginary butterfly gates. In the past, I had at times felt not exactly attacked but as if my feelings weren’t validated, as if comments I made were sometimes countered in a way that made me feel small. I don’t know. It’s a feeling so it’s hard to describe. But I valued the relationship enough to try to find a way to make it work and to look at my own contribution to it. I can be very defensive and take slight very easily. Imagining gates made of fluttering butterflies that waft away anything that seems unnecessarily hurtful yet letting in all the loveliness and sharing that goes on in the friendship really helps. I felt too vulnerable discussing it with her as I felt it would make me seem too defensive which is how she described me. But counselling and my gates helped as did pulling away for a while. In time I’ve noticed that she seems much more open and accepting of opinions and feelings different to her own. I like to think that I’m less defensive in all of my relationships, too.
The most beautiful thing happened regarding ease today. I was thinking that I would need to text my friend Sharron to check in with plans for lunch next week with our friend Liza. But first I wanted to get out early and go shopping for birthday pressies. I went all over town, ending up way on the other side. I pulled into a metered parking spot and fretted about not having the change for the meter. While still in my car who should get into the car next to me but Sharron! The chances were extraordinary! So we got to sort everything out and get a quick face to face chat in. No texts involved! I just love it when such synchronicity happens. Oh and there was enough time already on the meter for me to visit the store I wanted to! Even better.
Day 321 of 365 days of haiku
closest to the feeder
icy wind cuts through
Welcome! I'm Sue Blott: a writer of all things, a poet at heart, mom, wife, daughter, step-mom, grandma, tea drinker, tai chi-er, mystic, artist, dreamer...and now a blogger! This is my world.